After receiving news of the passing of a young man yesterday, I needed distraction.
I dont know why the news affected me so, since I dont really know him. Perhaps the thought of the loss that his family is feeling reminded me of my own loss.
I tried sewing. An online quiz gave me relief, for a short time. I made chicken soup for dinner, and made a spicy chilli+soy sauce to go with it, but that reminded me of Lollies, which in turn reminded me of the boy and the grief the family must be going through.
I decided to watch TV and discovered The Fountain was on. Surely Hugh Jackman and the always beautiful Rachel Weisz would be able to cheer me up?
This movie started off really confusing, but I kept on watching believing it is going to be a love story with a happy ending and I was going to emerge warm and fuzzy at the end.
This movie was really really really sad.
I kept crying and crying, even long after the movie was over. Even when I didnt understand the ending.
I tried to sleep but I continued thinking about the scenes in the movie. The sense of love, of loss , of extreme grief, of loyalty, of tenacity, of what you would do for love that was potrayed in the movie really affected me. Perhaps more so with the current news still lingering in my mind.
I finally slept, and couldnt remember what I dreamt of.
When I woke up though, I had a sense of peace.
I think I know now.
Death is inevitable. No matter how much you try to avoid it, no matter how much you try to prolong your time (or somebody else’s time), you will, eventually, face death.
This does not mean you should stop trying to prolong life, it only means that you need not fear death so much so that you stop living.
And when death does come (to you or your loved one), and you suffer the loss, we need not fear the loss, because it is not the end.
Death is not the end of the person.
The end of the life does not signify the end of the loving.
Thus we should not wallow in grief or regret, because it does nothing to the dead, nor the living.
Continue loving, and continue living.
Knowing this, I am ready to let go.
I love you. I am ready to let go now.
elisataufik
I’ve seen The Fountain. When I watched it, I knew nothing about it except that it starred Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz. It completely took me by surprise. I was dumbfounded. It was beautifully sad, incredibly poignant, magnificently touching and it rattled through me completely. When it finished, I just sat staring at the screen processing everything that had just happened. I have never before been affected so much by a movie.
I recommend reading a Tom Robbins book, Jitterbug Perfume, if you haven’t already read it. It deals with the same concepts, from a different angle. Again very engrossing, involving and thought-provoking, and wonderfully written. Tom Robbins is a genius.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jitterbug_Perfume
“The major themes of the book include the striving for immortality, the meaning behind the sense of smell, individual expression, self-reliance, sex, love, and religion. Beets and the god Pan figure prominently. The novel is a self-described epic, with four distinct storylines, one set in 8th century Bohemia and three others in modern day New Orleans, Seattle, and Paris.”
Very touching words, Elisa.
Pixie,
I’ve seen the previews of The Fountain and totally expected it to be one of those romantic love stories where two people are destined to love each other thruout different lives and times, you know, like Kate&Leopold or that movie with JaneSeymore and ChristopherReeves (can’t remember the title). Like you, I too, was taken by surprise and left dumbfounded. One side of me almost swept it aside, saying it’s just a movie, but the other side of me tells me that it was too emotionally affecting to be ‘just a movie’.
Thanx for the book recommendation. I will definitely look for it the next time I go to the bookstore.
Deej,
It was a very touching movie. Have you seen it?
Elisa – No, but it sounds like I’m going to have to!
Deej – dont forget to tell me what you think of it !